Face To Face
by OneLastRefrain
Summary: [RENT] It’s been over a year since Roger left for Santa Fe, and things were suddenly looking up for the bohemians. But when an unexpected old friend approaches the loft on Christmas Eve, lives will be changed forever; for worse, or for better?
1. Chapter 1 An Old Friend

Title: Face To Face

POV: Multiple characters

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Mimi/Roger

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.

Summary: It's been over a year since Roger left for Santa Fe, and things were suddenly starting to look up for the bohemians. But when an unexpected visit approaches the loft on Christmas Eve, old memories are blown back into the picture, and some lives may be destroyed.

- - -

(Mimi POV)

It had been over a year since Roger had moved to Santa Fe, threw all his valuable belongings (which wasn't much) in a duffel bag and disappeared down the dusty road in an old beat up car he traded in for his fender.

A year had gone by and it felt as if he had disappeared from all existence. Not many people besides his close friends even remembered Roger, the ex-strung out junkie with dreams of becoming a rock star.

At first, to us, it was almost as if we were waiting for the world to stop spinning as soon as the sight of Roger's broken down car disappeared down the street, heading out of the East Village location and towards the Holland Tunnel. How could things just move on without him?

But they did, slowly but surely things had started to move on. The homeless continued their riots, Mark continued his film, and I continued living, without his protective embrace around me at night, without my best friend and lover. My realistic life went on, slowly and painfully, but it did none the less.

I never imagined so many things could happen in a year. I moved in with Mark for awhile, to help him pay for the loft now that Roger was gone. Sure, it was rough on me, but inside, I think it killed him. He hid his feelings quiet well, but I caught the sadness in his eyes one night, and it was more then enough to make my already broken heart break some more.

Maureen and Joanne ended up moving to Jersey, leaving us here, alone. No-one is really sure what happened to Collins. That Christmas after Angel's death, he just seemed so distant, like he was lost in another world half the time. It was evident he was getting sicker and sicker, but I think he was to the point where he didn't care anymore. He wanted to be with Angel, just as much as I wanted to be with Roger.

He left around midnight and I remember that last look he gave me before he left. He squeezed my hand; kissed my forehead gently, and told me things would get better. Then he winked, exchanged yet another Merry Christmas, and was gone into the cold misty night.

Police were at our door at five in the morning after they found Collins face down cold in an alley. We're pretty sure he ended his struggle himself, but I don't want to think about him that way.

The next thing I knew, Benny was living with us at the loft, after being in a nasty divorce for several months from the early winter to spring. I didn't see him too much though; I kept to myself as much as possible in my room or at work. I was getting sick though much more often, and when Mark wasn't around, Benny was the one who took care of me, making sure I got my meds and that I was eating properly.

As much as I had hated Benny in the past year, I found myself not pushing him away when he went to hold me or when he wandered in my room late at night with a silly smirk saying he had a night mare. I was dying from my broken heart, and anyone could tell. I needed someone to love me, and well, he was the only one who was half way decent to me besides Mark who had gotten the role of my protective 'older' brother.

After I got involved again with Benny, things seemed to get so much better. Sure, in the back of my mind I pictured him as Roger, and as horrible as that sounds, I would close my eyes at night and imagine that it wasn't Benny holding me, but Roger.

That's what got me through everyday for a year. He knew I didn't love him, and sometimes, I'd be dreadfully guilty for not being able to love him the way he wanted me too. But he had accepted that fact and made every effort possible to make us seem like a real couple. His genuine heart amazed me and slowly things were getting better, slowly I was learning how to love again.

I had given up sitting by the window every night for five months, eyes attentively set on the street below me. Every time a similar car passed my chest would tighten and yet another part of me would die. Benny helped me revive that part of me. Benny had put that spark back in me, that there was still hope yet to live, to love.

He helped me revive my self-esteem which had slowly corrupted when Roger had left me. He made me realize that I didn't deserve to put up with the heart break anymore that I didn't deserve to make myself suffer for Roger's actions. He was the one to blame for leaving and I couldn't help but hold bitterness towards him for killing me; Because, that's in fact what he had done whether it was intentional or not.

So I went clean, ending my days of being high all the time in attempt to escape the pain. I painted a smile on my face that was just starting to have truth in it, and I slowly moved out of Roger's old bedroom and into Benny's.

He was never coming back for me and I realized how stupid I was for waiting for him for so long, crying so many nights alone. I had took a firm hold on my life and I wasn't about to let go and waste it any longer.

Roger was dead to me; dead to Mark; and dead to his once called 'home'.

--

(Roger POV)

Santa Fe sounded like such a good idea at the time, to leave and get away from it all for a few months. I never had the intention of never going back. Things just got side tracked, and well, I guess a part of me wasn't ready to face all them. I knew how disappointed they were in me, and I wasn't ready to go tell them I was sorry.

I told him I'd call, but I never got around to it. This was suppose to be some adventure for me; some way how to clear my mind and do some soul searching. I wasn't supposed to be gone for over a year and to tell you the truth; I'm not quite sure where the entire year went. It feels like I just got here and now, now that I'm finally going home I've realized that I had made the biggest mistake of my life leaving my friends, my family, my Mimi.

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and now I know for a fact, that is true. Every night got worse and worse to the point where I wasn't sure if I could stay away much longer. That heavy feeling in my chest wouldn't give and the tears in my eyes wouldn't disappear. I was starting to see her everywhere, those gorgeous brown eyes in the crowd.

It was spring when I realized that I was slowly getting sicker. I'd wake up in a cold sweat hacking out a lung, in the small shack I had rented for the year. If I was going to die, I didn't want to leave without seeing them all one more time.

That's when I had this idea, to save every penny for an engagement ring and a plane ticket back home; since my car hadn't made it. I spent the rest of the year saving up and finally, when Christmas Eve came around, I flew back home.

I knew I was going to be doing a lot of apologizing, but if everything would go as planned, we'd spend the rest of our lives together.

I knew, I'd never leave her again.

My heart wouldn't allow it.

As I walked up the steps back to the old loft, my stomach did flip flops and my heart began to ache. Though pure excitement was filled in my heart, I couldn't help but be nervous about coming face to face with them all once again. After how I treated them… I prayed every night that they'd forgive me for my mistake; the biggest mistake of my life.

Taking a deep breath, I came face to face with the loft door. The Do Not Trespass sign was the first thing I noticed missing but replaced with a small Christmas wreath with pine needles, glitter, and several vibrant glass balls. My fingers traced over the discolored formation of a rectangle before I took one more rather shallow breath before knocking firmly and taking a step backwards. It was now or never.

--

(Third Person)

"Dinner's ready!" Joanne called from the kitchen where she had a glass of champagne in her hand that she was juggling in between cooking. Different spices and homemade scents filled the loft's aroma, mingling well with the rather crappy Charlie Brown tree that Maureen had insisted on picking out, crying that it 'wouldn't have a home for Christmas!'

Well the once crappy Charlie Brown tree was looking quite festive with the 200 twinkling white lights, garland, and several shiny ball ornaments that Mark had dug out of the closet. They put up the ones that weren't smashed into pieces.

Mark stepped down the hallway, camera in hand as he took shots of the Christmas tree, the decorated living room, the delicious food in the kitchen, and not to forget the gorgeous table setting Joanne had picked out.

"Come on guys!" Joanne shrieked one more time, voice firm and stern on the edge of screaming with frustration in attempt to tear her girlfriend, Mimi, and Benny away from the television where they were watching the ending to 'It's a Wonderful Life.'

"We're going to miss the ending!" Maureen pouted, a tissue stuck to her eye as she slowly stood up, hands straightening out her holiday ensemble that was way too bright to the eye for the liking. Benny shut off the television as Maureen and Mimi both made a little protest of their own, before the three joined Mark, who was already to dig in, and Joanne at the table.

The group chattered for several moments, gushing over the dinner Joanne had spent most of the day slaving over, with Mark's attempt to help make mashed potatoes. That had only ended up in a complete mess with both of them covered from head to toe.

Mark used the end of his fork to chime the wine glass and get everyone's attention. Once the others had settled down he lifted his glass, offering a bright grin to his friends and spoke, "To a Merry Christmas – and many more to come."

Maureen had immediately raised hers in the air, "To Collins." It was the first year without him at the Christmas feast they had spent months preparing for. Sure, they didn't eat much all year, so this was a treat for the bohemians.

"To love." Joanne added next, glass raised high next to Maureen and Mark's, eyes sparkling as she looked at her family.

"To friends and family." Benny spoke next, voice firm but yet held such softness in them. His eyes skimmed from Mark's, to Maureen's, and then back down to Mimi who sat at his side.

"To health." Mimi finally added with a smile which was pretty much the biggest sign of happiness she had shown all year. The five clanged their glass together before they dug into the Christmas feast filled with turkey, mashed potatoes, and casseroles.

They had been half way through dinner when the knock came from the door. All looked from one another. "I'm not getting it." Maureen responded who was the closest to the door that was only several feet away.

"Me either." Mark retorted with a mouth full of turkey before filling his fork with some mashed potatoes.

"Ugh. I will." Mimi volunteered when everyone fell silent for a few moments. Pushing herself up from her seat, she wandered across the room to the front door, not even looking through the peep hole before undoing the dead bolt and swinging the door open.

Roger was the last person she expected to come face to face with.


	2. Chapter 2 Stay Awhile

An eerie silence filled the air as the two past lovers stared at each other, almost in a sense of comfort just to see one another. To anyone this may seem completely awkward, as the two stood there not having a clue what to say, but to them, this felt completely normal to just hold each other in one another's eyes.

That was until Mark's voice filled the air, "Who is it Mimi?"

Mimi looked as if she was hit across the face, a horrible look of shock mixed with pain and surprise etched on her face, and before she knew it, Roger had his arms around her tightly, face buried in her long curls that framed her face. She swore she felt a hot tear trickle down the bridge of his nose and fall on to her bare shoulder. But when he would eventually look up, it was gone. Or a figment of her imagination.

Here was the guy Mimi had waited to come back for almost a month, he had left her alone, and now, here he was – holding on to her with all his strength. And to her own surprise she was clutching on to him tightly as well, arms wrapped under his, hands gripping on to his shoulders.

Neither of them realized that they had the other four Bohemians watching them from the table, all standing around it, gapping at Mimi and Roger.

It wasn't until Benny cleared his throat that Mimi and Roger slowly looked towards the group, almost as if they just realized where they were. Mimi, unlike Roger let go of him and took a small step back still in contact range, looking downwards. Now the awkwardness was there.

"Roger..?" Mark broke the silence, voice a bit shaky as he stared at Roger, eyes widened in disbelief behind his glasses. Maureen and Joanne were both staring at him, and Benny had this weird look of uncertainty on his face as if his mind was searching whether he was still an enemy. Or better yet, was he going to try and steal his girlfriend from under his nose?

"Hey…" A soft smile rounded on Roger's thin lips as he gazed past Mimi, to Mark and the others. The smile turned slightly nervous as the stares and he looked downwards to Mimi after a brief moment, whom had an emotionless look on her face.

Maureen broke the silence before running over to Roger, tripping over her heels and tossing herself at him, arms wrapped around him tightly, blocking off his air for a moment. "Roger! I'm so happy to see you! Merry Christmas! How are you?!" She broke the silence after feeling the tension. Joanne quickly approached with Mark at her heels.

Roger looked a bit taken back but returned the hug, or…well…patted her on the back with a soft grin. "Nice to see you too…but Maureen…I kind of can't breathe…" He choked as Maureen let him go, beaming.

"Welcome back Roger…" Joanne smiled softly towards their old friend, "Oh! And Merry Christmas…we were just having dinner..." She took him by the arm leading him in, "And there's plenty for you to have some food." Joanne nearly dragged him in the door with Maureen on his other side gripping on to his jacket.

His eyes examined the loft that really, hadn't changed too much. His gaze lingered to Mark's for a moment, neither had shared a word. Benny just glared at him as Joanne and Maureen pushed him into a seat at the dinning table. Slowly, one by one they retook their seats as Joanne filled a dish for him.

Really, he wasn't too hungry, especially not with the stares from his old friends. "Eat up! You must be starving? When did you get here? How long are you staying?" Maureen asked sitting beside him, hands on her knees watching him excitedly.

Roger's gaze drifted to Mark who was staring down at his half empty champagne glass, then to Mimi who was watching him attentively, and then to Benny beside her who had wrapped an arm around her chair. She had leaned forward to avoid contact.

"Well umm… I just got in the city… about two hours ago I think …" His voice drifted as he held Mimi's gaze for a few moments. Benny took a long sip of his drink and Roger took a forced bite of his mashed potatoes. "Actually…I was thinking of staying…" His voice drifted as Maureen clasped her hands.

"That's wonderful Roger! Where are you going to stay? We have an extra bedroom at our place in Jersey if you want to stay with us." Maureen offered quickly.

"We still have you're room." Mimi spoke suddenly, the first words she had said since dinner earlier, eyes glued on him, almost scared that if she looked away, he'd be gone.

Roger lifted his gaze from his plate and slowly to Mimi who offered him a small grin.

"We'd love you to stay Roger…" Mark spoke the first words he had said all evening since Roger had arrived. Things didn't feel…right. But nor had they felt 'right' the year he was gone.

Roger nodded a bit to Mark with a small smile, "Yeah…? Okay…"

Benny looked highly annoyed that no-one had introduced him, or asked for an opinion about Roger staying. "Planning on sticking around or running away next month?" Benny said grimly trying to pass it was a joke, but it was evident he was dead serious.

Roger snapped his attention to Benny giving him a grim look forcing a fake laugh. "Nice to see you too, Benny."

Benny raised his wine glass in his hand up a bit in a 'cheers' type of gesture, a conniving smirk on his face before taking a sip of the cheap alcohol.

"How have you been? How was Santa Fe?" Mark added quickly not giving Benny and Roger enough time to attempt to stir up an oncoming argument.

Maureen stuffed her face while watching them attentively along side Joanne who was holding a cup of tea close to her face, absorbing the warmth. Mimi's eyes hadn't left Roger since he had walked in the door.

"Alright..." He nodded with a small reassuring nod, the small smile hiding his white lies. So he had been miserable… And not to mention the awkward stares made him a tad bit on the nervous side. Already this wasn't exactly what he had expected. And though he was ecstatic to be home, he knew it was going to be a long night.

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! The more reviews the fastest the chapter will be up.


	3. Chapter 3 You Don't Love Him

The bed was still creaky, just how it always was. He and Mimi couldn't even fool around without the entire loft and apartments around them knowing. Sitting on the edge, it made a loud 'dying' sound and he wondered if the box spring would collapse on him sooner or later.

The apartment was just the way he had left it, pretty much empty with several things on the floor. Guitar picks…magazines…fliers from his old gigs. He had dumped his bag at the door and found himself staring into space at what seemed like forever. When he stood up, a picture on his dresser came into clear view. Walking over to the dresser on the other side of the room, floor boards croaking under his feet, he observed the dusty surface and frame. He could barely make out the picture that was masked with dust. Picking it up carefully, he brushed his index finger along the glass, tilting it back slightly before blowing most of the dust off.

Without the dust, the picture revealed quite a nice picture of him and Mimi, during a surprise Birthday party that Mark and Mimi had planned out. The two of them were sitting on the couch with a glass of champagne in hand, making goofy faces at the camera, wrapped in one another's arms. A good portion of the glass had been shattered and he remembered clearly throwing it at the wall during a fight they had had. She must have put it back together. A soft smile appeared slowly on his lips as he zoomed in on the picture not realizing Mimi was standing in the doorway watching him silently.

The mirror over the dresser was also broken, distorting his image as he slowly looked up, spotting Mimi through the cracked glass behind him by the door. Nausea filled his stomach and for some reason he felt like crying. He looked at her in the mirror for a long moment, eyes connected through one another before he placed the photograph back down and slowly turned. "Hey…" He whispered, a knot in his throat, only loud enough for her to hear.

"Hey." Mimi replied softly, eyes locked on his.

Roger suddenly had the urge to run. His heart was racing and he could hear Benny and Mark talking in hushed whispers from the other room. "How've you been?" He froze in his place as Mimi gazed out into the hall for a brief moment before turning back towards him, pausing before stepping inside his room, closing the door slowly behind her.

"Alright…" She gave him the same reply he had said to them earlier. He could tell by the broken look on her face that she was lying. He slowly sat down on the edge of the bed once more. "We should probably talk…" She mused out loud; the look on her face was almost desperate, not knowing what to say to him.

"Yeah…" Roger nodded up to her a blank look on his face, hands on his knees as he tried to think of something knowledgeable to say beside beg for forgiveness. "I should tell you…why I left…it wasn't because I didn't…"

Mimi shook her head quickly, "I know." She cut him off quickly not wanting him to say it for fear she'd break down to him. She knew she should be angry, bitter to him coming back after so long; but she couldn't. Not when the only thing she wanted to do was tell him how sorry she was for everything, how much she… "I should tell you… Benny never was…any…"

He cut her off this time before looking back up to her, eyes glazed over, "I know…I should have told you how much I…"

"No…don't you dare Roger…" Mimi murmured shaking her head a bit nervously, arms wrapped around her small frame that was clutching a heavy wool blanket over her. He couldn't help but notice her shivering.

Roger looked down a bit hurt as he grinded his teeth together, "I'm sorry…for everything…leaving…you…Mark…Collins…I just wanted you to know. I made a mistake…the biggest mistake of my life…" His voice drifted as he placed his head in his hands. Maybe he didn't deserve to be forgiven.

Mimi stared at him, shifting her footing slightly, body completely tensed. "Roger…" Her face softened towards him, "Rog…"

He flinched at his name, slowly looking back up towards her; newly fallen tears stained his cheeks, more threatening to fall. Something else was wrong…

"Collins…Collins is dead."

It took awhile to actually sink in that Tom Collins, one of his best friends for years, was dead. And he was too busy hiding across the country to actually say goodbye to him.

Roger hadn't said a word for several minutes as h stared out the window from the edge of his bed, gazing out into the misty night.

Mimi looked a bit alert that he hadn't spoken a word for the past five minutes or so while she explained what she knew about his death, "Roger?"

He didn't reply as he stared out the window, his back to her. She could see that he was crying from the reflection off the glass. Swallowing hard she pulled the blanket tighter around her.

"He's with Angel now…you…you know how miserable he was after Angel passed…" She murmured softly to him, taking a seat on the bed beside him, kneeling on her knees. He made no acknowledgement of her presence as she placed a hand along his shoulder. 

Too many thoughts were flowing through Roger's head to actually form words.

"Say something…" Mimi murmured softly tugging at his arm, a worried expression on her face.

He slowly turned his head to look at her, tears of guilt and pain on his face. His lips were parted but no words could be formed. He broke down into tears and allowed Mimi to hold him in her arms as he wept for his lost friend, for the past year that had been so completely lost.

Actions had spoken louder than words.

-

"Mimi?" A soft voice came from the door way.

Mimi who was leaning back against the head rest on Roger's bed had closed her eyes for a few minutes as Roger fell asleep, head in her lap. Hand damp from wiping away his tears, her fingers had rested along his shoulder when he had slowly fallen to sleep. The voice brought her back to reality, as she slowly opened her eyes and lifted her head towards the doorway.

Mark was standing in the doorway in a heavy sweater and flannel pajama pants. He rubbed his eyes before replacing his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "It's past midnight." He informed her.

"What?" It had been not even seven when she had gone to see him, and then just rest her eyes for a bit. "Wow…I must have fallen asleep…" She murmured before looking down to Roger's peaceful figure in front of her.

"Him too I see…" He smiled softly at her, "He okay? I heard him crying earlier…" His voice drifted a bit with concern.

"I told him about Collins…" She explained quietly before eyes locked to his figure, brushing her fingers through his soft hair.

Mark only nodded as silence filled the room, "You should get to bed. Benny fell asleep on the couch if you wanted to wake him up…"

Mimi didn't respond. As much as she didn't want to leave Roger, she knew she had to. Shifting a bit under him, she brushed a hand along his stained cheek, "Rog…come on…" She murmured softly to him as his eyes slowly slit open. He looked up groggily at her before slowly lifting his head from her lap and resting it back on the pillow next to her. His eyes fluttered closed as Mimi pulled the covers over him and gave him a kiss on his fore head, crawling off the bed.

"He still loves you." Mark said suddenly after observing the two.

"He left because of me." She shot him a glare, picking up her heels that she had placed at the foot of the bed.

"…And you're very much the reason why he came back." Mark pointed out standing in the middle of the door way blocking her escape route.

"Have you totally forgotten that I'm seeing Benny?" Mimi added in a hushed whisper.

"You don't love him…you never did..." He shook his head quickly.

"Don't tell me who I love and don't love Mark." Mimi responded stubbornly though she knew what he was saying was the pure truth. Pushing past him she escaped into the hall, tossing her heels into her room across the hall. She could feel Mark's eyes on her as she walked slowly into the living room.

When she heard Mark's door close, she sighed and peered in at Benny, who was fast asleep on the couch, the television that played the news, low in the background. Watching him solemnly for several moments, she swallowed hard.

Mark was right.

Tearing her gaze away from him, she crept up beside the couch and picked up the remote that was on the end table.

"You two back together already?" The voice caused Mimi to jump a bit startled as she slowly gazed down to Benny who remained still, eyes closed with the blanket pulled up over his chest. A lazy grin appeared on his lips, almost teasingly.

"Leave it alone Benny…" She shook her head a bit awkwardly, pulling her own blanket tighter around her. "Are you coming to bed?"

Silence. Mimi shifted her footing before sighing and switching the television off. "Merry Christmas." She stated softly, voice on the edge of tears. So many emotions were running through her, she had no idea how to respond. When Benny didn't reply, Mimi headed back into her room, alone and cold, head full of her troubled thoughts of the past. 

She knew she couldn't stay with Benny. It wasn't fair, not to her and not to him. He deserved better, he deserved receiving the love that he had expressed for her.

At the sound of Mimi's door closing, Benny's stomach clenched, acids mixing together creating a sense of nausea that soon lingered into his throat. Eyes glazed with unspoken tears, they stared at the ceiling and couldn't help but selfishly wish that Roger would go back to where he came from.

A/n: Sorry it took so long! My computer crashed and I just set everything back up. You know the drill - no reviews - no next chapter. It's all written and ready to go. You know you love me. 


	4. Chapter 4 Not A Very Merry Christmas

DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters.

Part 4

The loft was completely silent, minus the sound of rain drops crashing on the roof above his head. A small cold sensation lingered along his arm, as he was sleeping on his stomach, arm tucked around his pillow. He only grimaced slightly, not fully awake. In the matter of two seconds he was already back out like a light, which was until another small splash of water cracked and dripped back on to his arm, penetrating his long sleeve flannel shirt he had changed into the night before after finding Mimi gone.

His eyes quickly opened as he jolted up in his bed a bit taken back by the wet spot on his shirt. He rubbed his eyes, in attempt to fully comprehend what had happened before slowly looking up, where a nice crack was in the ceiling, and a nice spout of water was forming along the tiles. Muttering a curse under his breath, and inaudible rambling soon to follow, he collapsed back down, now on the opposite end of the bed, the bed groaning angrily under him.

"Please don't tell me the ceilings leaking again."

Roger only lifted his head enough to see Mark in the doorway, dressed in a red sweater, same ratty coat, and striped scarf wrapped around his neck. "It's not leaking. It's dripping." He said rather blandly before grunting and placing his head back down on the mattress, head where his feet would normally be.

Shuffling feet sounded before Mark reentered the room with a pot in his hands, finding the damp spot on Roger's bed, and placing it on it before readjusting his glasses and staring up at the ceiling. "I'll have to get that fixed…"

Mark looked back down to Roger after a moment, "Merry Christmas?" He tried, voice a bit sketchy. He knew the big reason for this was since Mimi had explained the news to him, what happened to Tom Collins.

"Yeah…perhaps." He replied rather dryly. He could feel Mark's eyes staring down at him, but Roger was too tired too actually say anything more. His eyes were stinging from crying himself to sleep the night before, and well, he wasn't feeling all too dandy at the moment. His perfect Christmas had faded too quickly. And the diamond ring in his jacket pocket would have to remain there for a lot longer then he had expected.

"Everyone's up. We're going to have brunch in a bit if you want to get up and actually try to join in for the holiday." Mark grumbled, almost a bit annoyed. Who did he think he was? Coming back here and then acting like a sap. "Collins wouldn't want you in here all alone on Christmas…"

"Leave him out of this Mark." Roger said with a heavy sigh, face still smashed into the comforter under him. "Please."

Mark pursed his lips together before a hand scratched the back of his neck. "I'm sorry…" He immediately apologized.

More silence.

He shifted his footing in front of the bed, patience decreasing every moment. Anger filled the filmmaker's veins and he grabbed the nearest pillow and chucked it at Roger's head with all his force.

Roger jumped up, hand moved to the back of his head, staring up at his ex-best friend. "What the hell did you do that for!" He snapped scowling heavily as he rubbed his head. It was a pillow, it didn't really hurt…

Mark's face was filled with anger and disgust, "For you! For being an asshole to me! For leaving to Santa Fe and never calling! Or no, for nearly killing Mimi! Wait! No…it gets better Roger!… for - for coming back after a year and expecting things to be fucking normal! Expecting us to be sitting here and waiting for you with open arms!"

He stared at him in shock, jaw parted slightly at his friends sudden out burst. Sure, he knew deep down he deserved it. But the last time he saw his friend go off on him like that was when he was attempting to sober him up, during heroin withdrawal.

The anger had suddenly drained from Mark's pale face and he looked downwards to the ground, "Roger…. I didn't mean…"

But Mark didn't even get to finish his sentence before Roger was up on his feet. "No…no you said enough, Cohen." He knelt down beside the bag he had lived out of for the past year. "I shouldn't have come back here."

"But Roger, I didn't mean-" Mark started to panic and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, who was knelt down gathering a few things he had put aside the night before. At Mark's touch, he immediately recoiled.

"Look, give this to Mimi, alright?" He had a small envelope in his hand with a small box. It was placed on the nightstand as he returned back to the bed, "And this…. This is for you…" He pulled out a medium sized red box and placed it on the bed without hesitation.

"No…Roger…please…I'm sorry! I didn't mean to go off on you!" Mark exclaimed helplessly, not knowing what to do.

"No...I'm leaving...I'm sorry…sorry I came back and screwed all your perfect lives up." Roger already had the bag and guitar case over his arm, worn leather jacket over his shirt, bleached blonde hair sticking up in many uncountable directions.

"I missed you so much Rog. And Mimi…god we missed you so much…you can't leave…not again!"

But Roger didn't even hear the last part of his statement as he pushed past Mark in the doorway and headed down the hall.

"Roger!" Mark called desperately from the now, once again, abandoned room.

Mimi and Benny looked up from the kitchen, both who had been drinking coffee from stained mugs. She immediately stood from her seat, nearly knocking the chair over as she looked to Roger who had stormed past the kitchen entrance. "Roger? What's going on?" Fear and confusion was written in her face as she fought to keep up with him.

"He's leaving again! He's being a god damn bastard and leaving us here again!" Mark had snapped once again, tears threatening to spill from his eyes as he caught up to them in the living room, grabbing on roughly to Roger's sleeve.

"Let go of me!" Roger hissed at Mark ripping his arm away from his friend avoiding Mimi's gaze as he continued to the door.

"Let him go! All he ever does is run! You should know that by now Mark! All he does is runs away from the people he loves!" Benny chimed in, anger and intimidation flaming in his eyes.

"Please! Stop!" Mimi cried over the screaming, tears already spilling down her eyes. "Please Roger! You can't leave!"

Roger didn't so much as even acknowledge her existence as he pulled the loft door open. "Fuck you, Benny!"

"Go back to Santa Fe! I'm sure you were much more liked there! How you expect the people to forgive you after all the fucking agony you put them through is beyond me!" Benny went off, speaking his mind off his tongue.

"Oh fucking drop dead Benny!" Roger exclaimed before he spun around to exit the door, but one strong grip on his arm stopped him, causing him to spin back around to stare into those deep brown eyes that were filled with tears.

Those eyes melted him, paralyzing him in his footsteps. He swallowed hard, jaw clenched.

"Please, Rog…god…don't leave me again." She choked out through her hysterical tears, having a death grip on his arm, salty tears of sorrow sailing down her pasty cheeks.

"What are you waiting for Davis! Get your ass out of here! You aren't wanted!" Benny continued, pushing Mark back slightly who was staring at Roger with a look of dread on his face.

"What have I done..." He mumbled to himself, "God what did I just do…" He muttered not like anyone took notice. Roger glared at Mark before looking to Benny and then back to Mimi.

"Please, just let go…okay? Forget I came back." Roger whispered softly to her. He couldn't rip his arm away from her, though he knew clearly well he could with ease.

"No…I won't…push me away Rog…go ahead." She cried, lips quivering, hand tightening to the point where it was nearly painful, her nails digging into his arm.

He swallowed the lump in his throat that didn't seem to want to go away. His head was spinning with Benny still screaming at him, Mark mumbling how completely sorry he was, and Mimi begging him to stay. He had to go away, somewhere, to think.

And yet he couldn't break Mimi's heart again.

"Come with me, Meems." He found himself blurting out.

"What!" Benny exploded eyes widened in disbelief.

"Come with me… please…I know you still love me deep down…I know you can find it in your heart to forgive me for hurting you! I know you can!" Roger was close to tears now.

Mimi looked shocked, almost like she had been smacked in the face. Holding her breath for a brief moment, Roger was almost sure she was going to spit in his face or push him backwards. But she didn't. She let go of his arm and just stood there.

"Wait…whoa…" Benny quickly stepped forward but it was too late. Mimi had already taken Roger's hand and was disappearing down the hall quickly with him. "Mimi! He doesn't love you! He doesn't love you like I do! He fucking left you Mimi!" He called desperately after her.

But to him, it wasn't a surprise that she didn't look back; not once.

A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews! Keep them coming! I have a few more chapters typed already but I feel like being evil and I refuse to update until we match the reviews from chapter three. Mwaha. You know you love me!


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